27 Jun 2018 11:09:54
Eds what's the situation with ....................

{Ed002's Note - THIS IS THE LIVERPOOL PAGE - YOU ARE DOING NOTHING BUT WASTING OUR TIME ASKING ABOUT RANDOM PLAYERS.}


1.) 27 Jun 2018
27 Jun 2018 11:32:55
the CO2 shortage?


2.) 27 Jun 2018
27 Jun 2018 11:46:42
You can’t jusk ask about random players, MK is NOT joining Liverpool this summer.


3.) 27 Jun 2018
27 Jun 2018 12:03:41
Thank you Southern Red! I can't afford that kind of pay cut for a start.


4.) 27 Jun 2018
27 Jun 2018 12:10:37
Zed post incoming.


5.) 27 Jun 2018
27 Jun 2018 12:23:55
"What's the situation with" cheese in general? I get that its a dairy product, buts it's also rolled down hills for sport?

Would the world be a better place if all sports equipment were edible?

Furthermore, if the moon were actually made of cheese, would it mean that we could reduce the size of dairy herds, and therefore have less need of pasture lands and much less production of harmful (and smelly) methane gas, but at the risk of affecting our tidal patterns as a result of the gradual erosion (digestion? ) of the moon?

Finally, if the moon is indeed made of cheese, is it more likely to be a soft cheese or a hard cheese? Also, where the rockets have taken off from moon landings, would that part be toasted cheese?

I await, as ever, with bated breath for your reply :)


6.) 27 Jun 2018
27 Jun 2018 12:25:59
^ Knew it ;) .


7.) 27 Jun 2018
27 Jun 2018 12:56:11
The moon is definitely made from hard cheese mate which I believe is probably as hard as rock.

I say this because when meteorites hit the moon, which could have a speed of 40,000kph they leave craters just like on earth whereas if the moon was made from soft cheese those craters would most certainly be huge gaping holes right the way through it.


8.) 27 Jun 2018
27 Jun 2018 13:10:56
"Would the world be a better place if all sports equipment were edible? "
Short answer, yes!
But specifically for cheese. Imagine football with a deep-fried goat's cheese ball, baseball with a mozzarella stringcheese bat, or icehockey with a babybel anyone? Anyone? Bueller?


9.) 27 Jun 2018
27 Jun 2018 13:16:20
Unless its a springy soft cheese, Irish ;-)

I'm thinking Port Salut?


10.) 27 Jun 2018
27 Jun 2018 13:18:34
Also mate if we were to take the cheese from the moon, as you said it would affect our oceans tides which would have a detrimental effect on life in the ocean which would eventually kill off millions of species.

Also when the cheese moon is gone earth's orbit around the sun would be very unstable as the moon balances it. This would put our seasons into turmoil which is obviously not good.

So with this I think the moon's cheese would be protected by law and the production of cheese on earth would continue as it is.

I hope this answers your questions.


11.) 27 Jun 2018
27 Jun 2018 13:20:27
Jurgen, you mean like:

"Hey batter, batter, Swiss batter"

?


12.) 27 Jun 2018
27 Jun 2018 13:21:02
I don't think so zed because if so then surely the whole lot would spring back, thus not leaving craters.


13.) 27 Jun 2018
27 Jun 2018 13:30:17
Also cheese will melt in hot weather so I think you would only really get away with using cheese as sports equipment in Scandinavia and Scotland, just to name a couple.


14.) 27 Jun 2018
27 Jun 2018 13:38:59
I watched a documentary once about a man and his dog who built a big orange rocket, and flew to the moon (with Jacobs crackers just in case) . Turns out the moon is made of cheese and has a similar consistency to that of Edam. The documentary was called Wallace and Gromit, for any one who is interested.


15.) 27 Jun 2018
27 Jun 2018 13:41:51
Cheese Louise, there's a lot to ruminate on.


16.) 27 Jun 2018
27 Jun 2018 13:44:25
I take your points, Irish.

However, less smelly countryside vs apocalyptic tidal changes and seasonal destabilisation? Its a tough call.

Also, maybe Port Salut is unlikely, but Halloumi has all of the springy texture, also has the odd crater, but doesn't melt away.

I think a Halloumi/ Port Salut/ Feta cross could be the answer!


17.) 27 Jun 2018
27 Jun 2018 14:00:02
P. S. Just cos its my favorite cheese joke:

How do you approach an angry Welsh cheese?

Caerphilly

:)


18.) 27 Jun 2018
27 Jun 2018 14:59:20
Haha, zackly Zed. :)

Okay this is going so well it surely must be time to start the rumours about Liverpool signing Brie Embolo from Schalke.

And I know lots of fans would love to see that delightful Javier Mascarpone chap return to the club, possibly as a direct replacement for Marko Gruyère. Then we will certainly be playing Roquefort and Roll football next season.

(Good grief I need to get a hobby. )


19.) 27 Jun 2018
27 Jun 2018 15:09:04
Being a sperm donor? it's financially rewarding but very hands on, but don't worry mate you'll make a good fist of it.


20.) 28 Jun 2018
27 Jun 2018 21:49:51
What did the cheese say when it saw itself in the mirror?

“Hallu-mi”.