13 Dec 2017 10:47:16
Benny, my mate has said he will be linesman for the game, but he'd like to know the final date by around February/ March time just in case.

He did also suggest he could source another linesman or even a referee if required. I've told him to hold fire though because I'm sure you mentioned you were hoping to get Dermot Gallagher involved.

And you never replied to my email so I'll reiterate; I'm not a left back! 😂 anywhere ahead of the defence please Ed001!

{Ed001's Note - I was never intending you as a left back don't worry.}

1.) 13 Dec 2017
13 Dec 2017 11:22:37
Thank god Ed. Not if we're serious about winning 😂 I'm a liability at the back. Though I'd play right wing back in a back 5 if you're feeling like Tris Conte!

{Ed001's Note - I am more Mike Bassett than Conte!}

2.) 13 Dec 2017
13 Dec 2017 11:46:06
I expect to be played on the left side of a front 6 then 😂 Trust in me Ed. Some people call Nakamura, the Japanese MK Scouser. My free kicks are that good 😉 You've got this trophy in the bag boss. I'll put you 4-0 up in the first 20 minutes with a 25 harder, after a Carragold hat trick of sliced clearances lobbing their keeper, we'll all get get cramp, and then we'll capitulate to be drawing 4-4, before Fornax shoots from 120 yards, and the ball ricochets in off Benny's derriere for a 96th minute own goal. 5-4 to us. Put you're house on it. My training is going too well for us to lose. I de-iced the car in in my birthday suit this morning because i can't afford to fill a bath tub with Ice like Ronaldo can.

Book the open top bus mate. Football is coming home!

{Ed001's Note - there is certainly plenty of benny's backside to bounce off.}

3.) 13 Dec 2017
13 Dec 2017 12:12:12
Careful Ed. Mind games might fire Benny up! Plus if Ed002 gets involved in them, no offence, but he'll win.

He's already giving me sleepless nights over Salah. I just lay in bed at night screaming "GET OUT OF MY HEAD" as a Rodeo Clown just flashes in front of me every time i close my eyes, shoving Salah into the back of a Taxi with the license plate R3AL MADR1D.

He may be the clown, but he's the one laughing!

{Ed001's Note - enough of the chat, you should be out kicking a tennis ball against a wall for training!!!}

4.) 13 Dec 2017
13 Dec 2017 12:26:19
I've been using a marble and a lampost Ed. Tennis balls and walls are for Amateurs.

{Ed001's Note - good lad, and remember to watch your diet. I want you to make sure to get fresh food. Especially remember to use fresh ice in your drinks, none of that frozen rubbish.}

5.) 13 Dec 2017
13 Dec 2017 12:53:45
I've set some tomato and carrot traps in my garden. Hopefully I'll catch a few tonight. Nothing is fresher than wild fruit and veg.

People who use frozen ice make me sick. It's murder in my opinion. I've not touched ice since I saw a grainy video of a factory in a third world country on the PETI website showing how it is killed in the factories. They take it away from it's freezer when it is just an hour old and then cube it in an industrial blender. Disgusting.

{Ed001's Note - it is something the world could do with more awareness of.}

6.) 13 Dec 2017
13 Dec 2017 14:47:33
Sorry mate. Will get around to replying to the email. I do think it's cute you guys think you have a chance though.

7.) 13 Dec 2017
13 Dec 2017 15:00:19
Just to clarify, am I slicing the clearances into my own teams net or the oppositions?!

8.) 13 Dec 2017
13 Dec 2017 15:20:50
The oppositions carragold! You better not score a hat trick of own goals. If you do, you can pay for everyone's petrol to get home.

Cheers Benny.

9.) 13 Dec 2017
13 Dec 2017 15:47:53
Haha just checking. A hatrick of sliced clearances, it will be remembered in folk law like Dirk Kuyts hatrick of tap ins against Utd.

10.) 13 Dec 2017
13 Dec 2017 16:04:36
Kuyt hat trick combined distance: 5 yards.
Carragold hat trick combined distance: 216 yards.